Divorces are usually pretty messy: Families unravel, mutual friends are forced to choose sides and children get caught in the crossfire. Medieval Germany took “messy” to a whole new level. In 1467,German fencing master Hans Talhoffer created the “Fechtbuch” or “Fight Book.” This combat manual contained various detailed images of men and women fighting to the death. These “divorce duels” were a last resort in settling marital disputes or ensuring a judge’s impartiality. 

The images, attached with specific combat instructions,  are quite shocking. The images provide both genders with tips and strategies to thwart their spouse-turned-opponent. 

Historical analysis shows that divorce duels were real and actually kind of common. Let’s take a look through the intense history of spousal combat!

The Origins of Judicial Duels

According to University of Oklahoma Associate Professor Kenneth L. Hodges, trial by combat started to fade out as the Middle Ages drew to a close. But, it was still a part of the accepted legal theory throughout the Renaissance.

You may be wondering: Why would an established legal system still allow duels at all? One of the reasons is that judges operated as extensions of the king. Therefore, accusations of treason pitted the defendant against the sovereign himself. 

So, in order to keep things fair and square, the accused could demand trial by combat. This trial was an impartial battle against whoever the king put up to fight. Guilt or innocence was determined by the survivor. 

Why Women Chose Divorce Duels

Hodges research also showed it was very common for men and women to settle marital disputes in state-sanctioned combat. But there are some skeptics who find this claim surprising, if not unlikely. 

This is for a couple of reasons:First, the woman was at an obvious physical disadvantage. In addition, women were subjugated to an overwhelming amount of religious and political discrimination that would never allow them a real shot at hurting a man. 

But, Talhoffer’s manual and further research revealed understandable reasons why a woman might want or have to take the risk. 

For example, the man she would normally pick to fight on her behalf is the man she’d *currently* be trying to kill. So, she has to fight instead. Also, the legal system went through almost comical lengths to provide an “even” playing field. 

Talhoffer’s images show the man positioned in a hole with a club and the woman standing above him with a rock-filled cloth. Sure, seems fair enough… 

The idea was that both weapons would be the same length. And the woman would be given an advantage in mobility. But, Talhoffer’s descriptions of how the fights could occur were even more crazy.

Talhoffer’s Tips on Divorce Duels

As a combat expert, Talhoffer was definitely qualified to imagine and document all of the different strategic moves a battling husband and wife could use to settle a dispute. Divorce duels in medieval Germany must have been a sight to behold (as seen below in Talhoffer’s descriptions).

Scroll and take a look at these combat photos! 

If only these couples had the guys from Wedding Crashers to help mediate!

The post Divorce Duels: Medieval Trial by Combat first appeared on History In Memes.

Did King Henry VIII have the original BDE?

Everyone associates BDE (known as Big Energy) with actor and comedian Pete Davidson. But, the origins of boasting about your manhood can be traced back to the 16th century. Mores specifically, they trace back to King Henry VIII and his design choices for his knight armor. 

Why Was King Henry’s Armor Like *Cough* That?

King Henry VIII’s suit of armor was designed to protect him and shield him from injury. But, the specific design choices they made around his codpiece feel more like he’s trying to show off an asset rather than protect it. It’s an unnecessary overcompensation, but it is hilarious that he made the designer incorporate such an exaggerated piece of armor. Maybe it was an attack strategy to distract his opponents or a peacocking method to attract the attention of women. Either way, this is one of oddest and funniest pieces of armor we’ve ever seen. 

More About the Armor’s Design

This codpiece weighed in at 2 and half pounds. Not only did the King parade around with this armor on for everyone to see, but he made sure that his enlarged piece would go down in history. When posing for a lot of paintings and self-portraits, Henry ensured his codpiece was worn and fully depicted. Sounds like a medieval times version of posting a thirst trap. 

How Did the Ladies React To His “Codpiece”?

Basically, he was was a 16th century sex symbol. Countless women lined up to impress him and hopefully become his wife. They would even stick their pins in the velvet lining of the codpiece to warn off other women, while also hoping to improve their chances of getting pregnant and promote fertility.

When historians discuss his choice of armor around that particular area of his body, they compared the eye-catching codpiece to “a permanent erection.” They also said that the design was “so voluminous it could serve as a pocket.” 

So, Was the “Codpiece” Successful?

But, the codpiece proved to work wonders with the ladies. King Henry ended up having six wives. And while he made sure that his asset was on full display for the world to see – and gawk at – he did struggle to do the one thing he was advertising: Produce many heirs to the throne. 

He had quite a few children, but many did not make it past infancy. Only three of them were claimed as legitimate. His only son, Henry VI, was born in October 1537 before dying at just the age of 15. King Henry had two daughters. Mary I, born in February 1516, was nicknamed “Bloody Mary” and died at the age of 42. His other daughter, Elizabeth I, was nicknamed the “Virgin Queen” and died at the age of 69.

Here’s Where You Can See the Armor In Person

Don’t believe the pictures? See it for yourself! Take a trip to the Tower of London, where King Henry VIII’s full 1540 armor is on display. And you can catch a glimpse at that two pound codpiece in all its glory. 

(Getty Images)

While many people may associate King Henry VIII for a variety of things – from establishing the Church of England to his six wives and 6 failed marriages – this suit of armor made him well-known in history for having a long…..sword.

The post King Henry VIII’s Armor Had BDE first appeared on History In Memes.